Where I’ve Been and Why I’ve Been Avoiding the Blog

Okay, “avoid” is a harsh word… but if I take a look inside I know it’s true. Having a blog is hard… even for someone like myself with a (very) small following. There is a certain expectation to be transparent and sometimes that gets old. Taking that a step forward…. putting goals out into the universe and then failing (repeatedly) gets old. Taking a step back now… I know that it’s beneficial to set goals and shoot for the moon… and I also know that it’s not productive to be too hard on myself.

These are the thoughts that go through my head every time I open my laptop with the intention of blogging. I always feel like I need to put a goal out there… but then I think about all the goals I haven’t succeeded… and then I feel like a hypocrite… and then I close the computer.

So here’s what going to happen. I’m not setting any more goals. I’m completely letting myself off the hook. I’m choosing to be happy… to do what makes me happy. That’s it.

 

Right now these are the things that are making me happy…

Teaching yoga… and that pretty much being the only exercise I get. I teach about 4 to 6 classes per week and, in addition to my full time job, that’s a lot! I love it… but I certainly don’t want to do anything additional.

My full time job… wait am I saying that? I’m with the same corporation I’ve been with for the last two years but recently switched divisions and my day is completely different. It’s fast-paced and uber focused and I actually really enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong… I don’t jump out of bed every morning… but I have come a long way from those first couple of months in New Jersey (with the corporation before this one) feeling immense sadness day and night.

Golf… Josh joined a golf club a few months ago (after we moved back to Greensboro) and (by association) I am now a member, too. I actually grew up golfing and “golf camp” on summer days as a young child was an annual occurrence. I love getting outside, getting some sun and spending time with Josh. We typically use a cart but there’s still a fair amount of walking so it’s a little bit of exercise, too.

Not eating meat… and feeling good about doing it. I’ve played with a vegetarian diet over the years and decided to give it another go as of mid-July. There have been only a few exceptions (a few bites that included meat during the tasting for our wedding and then some seafood this past weekend while in Martha’s Vineyard), but other than that I’ve been eating meat-free AND have been craving-free. Yup, I don’t even crave meat. It’s crazy! I’m incredibly happy with my grains, beans and greens… and nuts… and sometimes cheese 😉 . I’ve also been experimenting with some really delicious vegan recipes whenever possible. My favorite sites for vegan recipes right now are Healthy Happy Life and Oh She Glows.

truTV… Does anybody else watch this channel? Josh and I have been enjoying weeknights full of laughter watching Impractical Jokers, Hack My Life, The Carbonaro Effect, and Adam Ruins Everything. I really want us to get rid of our cable and now that the Olympics are over this is truly the only thing holding me back.

Cooper… my little vizsla pup makes me smile every single day. He brings me more joy and happiness than I ever thought a pet could bring.

 

Things that are supposed to be making me happy but aren’t…

Are you ready for some honesty? Planning my wedding!!! I am so excited to marry Josh… but planning this wedding completely stresses me out. It’s not because of lack of support… everyone around me is super supportive and we have the most amazing venue contacts and wedding planner… but I just can’t get excited about anything related to the wedding planning. I think I see the dollars and just completely stress out. I can’t wait to marry Josh!  I can’t wait to celebrate what will then be more than 6 years of love (including compromise, hard work and tears) with all of our family and friends!  I can’t wait to start this new chapter in my life.  ……..but getting to that day has been high-stress for me.

Reading healthy living blogs… I’m just tired of it all. I’m tired of seeing other people achieve major goals and distracting me from focusing on my own happiness. That may not be fair but it is the truth. I’m tired of conflicting advice and I’m taking a step back.

 

So now that we’ve got all that out in the open… maybe I’ll be back with some “check in” posts…. but only if I feel it’s going to make me happy… in that moment.